Life according to my phone

April Addition

Amazing Magnolia blossoms on my sister-in-law's tree on April 1st, Conference Sunday dinner at her house.  Easter Cupcakes. And Baby peeking through the gate.

Hammer loved looking out our living room windows. Hammer's adorable face.  And beautiful little Lulu.

 Lulu playing with her paper fairies. Leaves on the trees make me happy! And Baby is crawling all over.

Hammer and Baby play well together, even though they are sick. Baby falls asleep on Aunt Jen while being baby-sat (thanks Jen for sending me the pic). Baby in the warm April sun. And Lulu's chart where if she doesn't wake anyone up at night she gets a sticker- she made a chart for Hammer too so he could color in the circles if he slept all night.

Hammer's first trip to the dentist- he did great and had no cavities and got a prize!. My sister Laura left me this picture on my phone while visiting. The kids enjoy the weather in the backyard.  And Baby and mommy enjoy the weather too!

Grandpa tried to pack Lulu and Hammer. And Hammer and Baby enjoy a slurpee.

Look at all those boxes!  Look at Baby's legs, they are my favorite. And we say goodbye to our good friends.

Hammer found pumpkins growing in a driveway crack-Baby pulls them out. Burger King for lunch since everything is packed. Hammer says goodbye to Aubrey across the street.  And the last picture of our old house.

Glimpses of our new place

A few things we have been enjoying and that are different from our last place:

We are closer to the mountains.  See our view:

The tall trees, and the swing set that the sellers left:

A shed in the backyard.  And a bell on the shed that Baby is in love with:

A basketball court and a family swing:

A forest in our backyard:

We have our garden planted along the side of our yard, next to the fence.  We still got a lot of tomatoes and peppers in!:

We have a golf course right behind us.  One of the holes is right by our fence:

We find golf balls on our property occasionally.  But don't worry.  All of those trees you saw in the forest picture protect our home from peoples' bad shots:

Lots of wood from the trees that blew over a few months ago in that crazy windstorm.  The sellers chopped it and stacked it: 

This tree was blooming when we moved in, and it was so beautiful.  It is some sort of wild rose tree:

We also have a few fruit trees:

We have a real fireplace!: (and see my Mother's Day present on the mantle?  A beautiful replica of the Christus statue)

We also have a wood burning stove in the basement:

and lots of real wood paneling downstairs, and a wet bar.  At first I wasn't a big fan of the paneling, or the wood stove, or the wet bar.  But I have to admit, it's growing on me.  I like to refer to the basement as "the cabin":

Our beautiful kitchen.  I love the color of the cabinets, the granite counters and sink, all the cupboard and counter space, the tile floor, and the stainless appliances.  Basically the kitchen and the backyard sold me on this house:

We are happy here in our new home.  I told Lulu that I always wanted a fireplace and that Dad always wanted a wood burning stove.  She said, "I always wanted a swing set!  Good thing I picked this house huh?"
Yes Lulu, good thing.

What I learned from selling my house

1. We have way too much stuff.  Toys mostly.  It felt good to minimize and de-junk.  The house felt so clean and relaxing without piles of things everywhere.  I am trying to work on that every day.  I try to clear off the kitchen counters.  I just don't have a deadline like I did before with a home showing.  But I'm working on it.  And we still need to get rid of some more toys but... that leads me to number two.
2. I am too sentimental about objects.  I'm still working on getting rid of things we don't use just because I remember who gave it to me.
3. One of the most satisfying and easiest things to do is to make my bed and open the curtains.  Even if it's just for me.
4. Coming home to a clean and organized house is so relaxing.  I don't feel the list of to-do's nagging at me and making me feel guilty when I sit down to play with the kids.  Or read a blog.  I should get as much done in the mornings when I have energy and the kids are happy.  Then don't worry about it any more!
5. I found out, again, how kind and selfless my old neighbors are.  We got dinner two nights, lots of babysitting, lots of boxes, and lots of manpower to move stuff.  I am lucky to still call them friends.
6. If it's right, it will work out.  Just do your part and pray really hard.
7. Life is about balance.  A clean house feels wonderful, but a perfect house all day, every day, is just too hard.  Thank goodness the home sold fast because getting the house ready for a showing every few days meant getting it perfect and getting all of us out of there on time.  That was very hard to do with 3 kids while Ollie was working. The kids were glad to have their happy mommy back after we accepted the offer on our old house.  Baby didn't have to impatiently wait in his highchair while I swept.  I could help Lulu with an art project.  I could watch Hammer play outside again. And I got some me-time back too.  A little. 
8. It takes longer than you think to box things up.  Packing and unpacking goes faster with more help!  We were lucky to have help from my family and Ollie's mom.  That made unpacking way faster, considering my part of helping was just keeping the kids out of the way and helping to keep them happy.  That would have left Ollie to do it alone.
9. Ollie is an amazingly hard worker.  Not that I didn't already know that, but it was reinforced.  He can just go and go and go until the job is done.  And unpacking was a major job. No little breaks.  No distractions.  He had the house almost totally unpacked within like 4 days.  Amazing.  (see number 7... it would have taken him a lot longer by himself.  Like 6 whole days instead of 4. )
10. I can get sick of pizza. Oh don't worry, it didn't last long. And I'm not sure how people can eat out every day.  I was so ready for some home made food!

Life in Pictures

Being internet-less for much of April and May means that I hadn't blogged about all of these things that were worthy of documenting!
I also have some gems on my phone that I want to post.  Alas, I haven't found the right card yet to get the pictures from my phone to the computer.  But I did take pictures on the big camera too.
So this is our life the past two months, or so, in pictures.

We had a P party. See? We brought out everything that we could think of that started with P: pillows, pillow-pet, popcorn, pencils and paper, puzzles, pajamas, and Baby's pink teething ring.

Baby loves to feed himself.  Mashed Potatoes are good because they actually stick to the spoon.

Our neighbor's apple tree was full of beautiful blossoms

Baby pulled himself up to our living room windows for the first time

Lulu learned to ride her bike without training wheels!

Daddy held on to her seat, then showed her how to look straight and

she was riding like a pro within minutes!  Literally.  I was so proud.  Using her breaks on the hills at our new house took a little more practice, but she's got the hang of that now too!

Look at this packing mess.  How did we get so much stuff?

After 2 or 3 nights of sleeping on mattresses on the floor in the new house it was time to actually set up the real beds

We were missing our friends from the old neighborhood, so they came to visit us in our new place

Ollie cut down a bunch of overgrown branches.  The kids loved helping him by pulling them into the big pile

Lulu's soccer games started up again.  A bunch of them were at 8:30 in the morning which made for some very chilly games!

And Baby is totally a crawling pro.  Well he has been for 2 months now, but I'm not sure I had documented that.

A new chapter

Today I drove by my old neighborhood. Everything about it was so familiar, but it didn't hurt any more.

Back in April, on the night before the big move, Ollie and I were sitting on the couch in our living room when he asked "Are you sad that we are moving?" "No, not yet," I answered. "We made a lot of good memories in this house," he responded. At that point I started to think of all the memories we had made and I did get a little sad. But it was late, and I was tired, and there were so many things to do the next day.  So I didn't let myself focus on it.

The next afternoon and evening we moved all of our things out of the house. We spent the first night in our new home laying on the mattress on our new master bedroom floor. I thought I'd be asleep instantly.  But I couldn't sleep.  I lay there with a pounding headache and thought, "Well now I'll have a good cry reminiscing." But I was so exhausted from the day that I was not emotional at all. "Strange, " I thought to myself, "I wonder if something's wrong with me? Why am I not sad about this huge change?"

It was a huge change.

We had lived in that house for 7 and a half years. That's the longest time in my entire life that I have lived anywhere! Not only that, but it was our first home together. It was where we had all 3 of our babies. It was where I knew all my neighbors and loved my street. I loved the cows across the street. I loved sitting on my neighbor's porch chatting. I loved watching the kids ride their bikes around the cul-de-sac.
It was safe.
It was comfortable.
It was home.

So the next day, after a very horrible night's sleep, we started unpacking in the new home with the wonderful help from family. While Lulu was at school, Ollie and I went back to the empty house and cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. Again, I felt no emotion. I was just trying so hard to get it all done by the time I had to pick Lulu up from preschool. I vacuumed the entire house with the baby on my hip. I was so tired, again. We finished cleaning and got back to our new house when I remembered that I hadn't cleaned the inside of the oven. It needed to be done.  Bad.  There was basically charcoal in the bottom of the oven because I won't tell you the number of times in 7 and a half years I had cleaned the oven. (hint, I can count it on one hand).

So I ran back over to the old house, let myself in, and sprayed the oven cleaner into the oven. In order not to choke to death on the fumes while I was waiting the required 10 minutes, I stepped out onto the porch. The porch Ollie built with his own hands. I looked out over the garden that had year after year provided us with an abundance of produce. I saw the tree where all of my babies had swung. I saw my grass. I saw my windows. It all still felt like mine.

I came back into the house and walked around.  It was so hollow, the shell of what it used to be.  It was strange. I could feel the memories there. In each room I could see a ghostly video playing my memories.
And then I bawled, because I had time to let it all soak in.

It broke my heart. 

10 minutes later I cleaned out the oven and tried to compose myself in case I saw anyone I knew outside. I decided to have one final walk around the house because it felt like I was forgetting something. I found some magnets on the side of the fridge and took those. But that feeling was still there. I finally realized that I WAS leaving something there, part of me.

I don't know if everyone gets this attached to their houses.  I know Ollie didn't.  He has fond memories, but he had no problem letting go.  Why is it so sad to move when you are excited to be in a new home? My mom said it's not necessarily sad, it's just sentimental. My realtors told me the sadness would fade quickly. And it has, for the most part. There was so much to do in the new home. Unpack, organize, clean, meet the neighbors, and get all the utilities straight. And I love my new place. But every time I drove near my old home or street, or even freeway exit, I would find myself tearing up again.  It almost literally hurt, just as it does a little now seeing the pictures and recalling the way I felt.  I felt like I was mourning in a way.

It didn't help when Hammer told me on our 4th day in the new house that he wanted to go "home."  He didn't understand what we were doing in this nice new house, but he was ready to back to what he knew.  He was ready to go back to the only home he had ever known.  That broke my heart too, to tell him we wouldn't ever go back.  This was our new home.

Now it's been 3 weeks or so, and the wound is mostly healed.  I have driven in my old neighborhood countless times, and each time the pain is less.  Today I didn't even feel sad, so that is major progress!

And I really am happy in my new place.  It feels like home now.  I have all the memories, and pictures, of our old house.  It's like a chapter in my life has closed and now I'm starting a new exciting one.